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| Sr Chakupalesa and Mr Sichilongo reconciling |
By
Pumulo Mungoma
It is
said that the wise learn from the mistakes of others as one may not live long
enough to commit and learn from one’s own mistakes directly. The recent turn of events by the walking to
freedom of Mr. Daswell Sichilongo, the man who battered a Catholic nun and (Acting)
Headteacher, Sister Emma Chakupalesa, of Roma Girls’ Secondary School has re-kindled
a lot of debate. In a blink of an eye Mr. Sichilongo had turned himself into a
“celebrity”; unfortunately for the bad reasons.
On the
other hand, his case is ornamented with a lot of lessons. I wish to highlight 10 of the lessons that we can all learn from this rather unfortunate
incident.
Sr.
Chakupalesa met her fate after locking the institutional house occupied by Mr.
Sichilongo, 53, a Science Teacher at the same school. Sister Chakupalesa locked
Mr. Sichilongo’s house for alleged failure to pay a K1,500) for rentals. Mr. Sichilongo pounced on the nun with fierce punches
after efforts by Mr. Sichilongo to discuss the matter in the presence of a MUVI
TV crew were turned down by Sister Chakupalesa.
Mr.
Sichilongo said he was disappointed that Sister Chakupalesa decided to lock his
family out of the house despite that Sister Chakupalesa knew very
well that his bank account had been blocked on a technicality.
But recently, Mr. Sichilongo walked to freedom after the complainant (Sr.
Chakupalesa) withdrew the case. Sister Chakupalesa told Senior Resident Magistrate
Aridah Chulu that she had opted to withdraw and seek reconciliation. Magistrate
Chulu acceded to the withdrawal but warned that the case cannot be brought back
to court.
From
the onset, I wish to thank and appreciate that the two have agreed to seek
reconciliation. It is a discharged case
now, and leaves behind lessons for all of us.
I now wish to share with you what I have outlined as the 10 lessons
that every well-meaning citizen should learn from this case, especially for
teachers.
1. Considerate, Fair
Administration is Key
From this incident, we can conclude that a person has no
limits in retaliation when pushed to the edge. Man can easily turn into a “beast” when pressed
against the wall. He can fight back especially when his family members are either
a target or direct victim too, of such an action.
Mr. Sichilongo’s family was left in the cold
and his children missed school especially at the time when pupils were sitting
for their Mock Examinations. The Bible
teaches us to always remember to treat others the way you would want to be treated. Empathy
needs to be expressed by administrators, especially when material facts are
presented to them.
The case highlighted how the school administration acted so
harshly on this matter. The extent of locking an institutional house for
failure to pay K1,500 only was too harsh a consideration. This is their teacher! Where can he run to if
his own school and managers disown him? The
fact that Sr. Chakupalesa was Acting Headteacher, she needed to be more
accommodating! A little bit more of
tolerance and benefit of doubt are necessary! Every human being deserves better
treatment.
Good leadership as Headteachers is about being sensitive to
the pressing needs of their subordinates, and respond appropriately.
2.
Gender-Based Violence at
Display
The incident has shown that gender-based violence is more pronounced
when a woman is the victim, while when it is the man it is less projected. We
saw a united force mounted against Mr. Sichilongo in the name of the Sisters of
Charity, the Zambia Episcopal Conference, the Catholic priests and the women
movement in general. One Mongu (Western Province) based clergyman Priest Rev.
Ignatius Lubasi Muyunda Chanakila said “beating a religious sister is
sacrilegious (blasphemous).” The
solidarity the nun received from her Church should have shown that “blood is
thicker than water!”
The incident has taught us that real men defend women and
others. Real men are never used as bullets to turn defenseless women into
punching bags! It was a reminder that violence, even a threat of violence, is a
crime!
3.
Teacher Unionism Welfare
The teacher union to which Mr. Sichilongo belonged was not
spared from drama. The Secretary General
of the union; Professional Teachers Union of Zambia (PROTUZ) Mr. Albert Muyembe
had rushed to the media to issue statements condemning Mr. Sichilongo; likely
not having known that he was their member.
The statement backfired after teachers condemned that decision to nail
their member to the cross. At least for
PROTUZ they have learnt it the hard way that unionism is not about issuing media
statements; it is about member representation, guidance and seeking appropriate correctional
measures even when held in-camera.
It is good that PROTUZ managed to man up and clean their own
mess. They offered legal representation,
a half-salary payment (as he was suspended by the DEBS for Lusaka) and other
assistance to Mr. Sichilongo and his family. The turn of event in fact helped
consolidate the belief that belonging to a teacher union is vital. The incident
seems to have come at the right time when teacher unionism had lost confidence
in its members.
4.
Bring Anger Under Control
We should not act out of anger instead wait for the time you
are calm and collected because only then will you have a clear state of mind to
make a good decision. Do not act when
you are angry because during that time your ability to reason well is “paused”.
Everyone has the right to be angry, but that does not make one have right to be
cruel. The inability to control anger
has been a great contribution to strained relations in families and work
places! It is
virtuous to be quick to listen, but slow to speak and to anger.
Worse still, Mr. Sichilongo is just less than two years to
retirement age. A long jail conviction on that count of assault of causing
bodily may have guaranteed a dismissal from work and lose all his benefits. And
you know what a dismissal would have meant for him and his family.
5.
Two Wrongs Cannot Make a
Right
Fighting is never a good “hobby”; at least for teachers, and
never will it be. The experience of adults
fighting paints a very bad picture to the children we teach and the reputation of
the concerned teachers themselves. This affects the reputation of the school
and the profession at large. It should
be known that kick-boxing is never an option to conflict management.
Teachers must exercise maximum restraint in times like that.
To avoid finding yourself in such scenario, let teachers learn to have a swift
communication procedure. This communication platform must be bound by mutual trust,
respect and understanding. If that effective channel was in place,
currently there would be no such a case involving Mr. Sichilongo and Sister
Chakupalesa. It was such an unfortunate
incident.
6.
Be Responsible, Communicate
In life we need to learn to “give Ceaser what belong to
Ceaser” in time. To avoid inconveniences and problems with service providers
like accommodation, we need to be responsible enough to pay our bills on time;
where possible even pay in advance. Where you are unable to pay on time, it is
good that you notify the other party in the agreement. It is expected too that the other party
should be ready to reason with you; and come up of agreed methods of dealing with
defaults in payments. Agreements can be
breached or not honoured but that does not allow chaos in managing the breach
or default in payment for the service offered.
This should apply even to other services like water, electricity, school
fees, etc.
7.
A Litmus-Paper for Teacher
Solidarity
The Sichilongo's case has acted as a litmus paper or barometer
to see how united teachers are. Teachers must bear each other’s’ burdens. A lot
of teachers not only offered moral support but also financial and material
support. I know of one Lusaka based comrade
who had offered to help the Sichilongo family with accommodation until their
case is disposed of by the courts of law. Many teachers and none teachers used
social media for solidarity and to raise thousands of funds to assist Mr.
Sichilongo.
The spirit of a united Ubuntu
(humanism) was shown. Of course, solidarity need to be extended to Sr.
Chakupalesa as the incident has been so humiliating, painful and embarrassing to
her; especially being a woman of the veil and that it happened on a TV camera,
and the video has so far circulated widely on the internet. Commend the nun for
her forgiving heart despite the embarrassment. Despite being a woman of the veil,
her forgiving spirit is remarkable!
8.
Never Take Law The In Your Own
Hands
No matter how tempted it i,s never take the law in your own
hands. There are many established
channels for professionals to resolve conflicts apart from embarking on
assault. That way, when taken, it can be
regrettable.
For example, Mr. Sichilongo had an option to seek help from his
District Education Board Secretary for Lusaka or even further! An intervention from there would have eased
things. Being pro-active is key!
9.
There is Strength in the
Word “Sorry”
A well-meant apology is a strength and not weakness. In fact
an apology is a reserve of the strong and humble. The simple word “sorry”
managed to save Mr. Sichilongo’s job, relationship with his boss and the
Catholic Church as well as his strained reputation. It has been said that to
err is human, but to forgive is divine. It is commendable that he apologized
and the nun found room in her heart to forgive Mr. Sichilongo.
Love covers and conquers all multitudes of sin. I know the
angels in heaven were ululating when Mr. Sichilongo and Sister Chakupalesa
hugged each other in the peaceful spirit of reconciliation. It was a sigh of relief for both!
10. Sometimes We Need Arbitrators In Life
The better principle of
social dialogue and conflict management did not prevail in the incident. When
relationships turn sour, sometimes we take it for granted that we can resolve
issues on our own. It is high time we started involving a third party when we
reach a deadlock with other party in a contract or any relationship. There is
need for an arbitrator (reconciler) in life.
The need for arbitration is
also seen in the incident that led to the withdrawing of this case from the courts
of law. For sure it is high
time that we started seeking arbitrators hand when need arises even at the
lowest level of conflict management.
Bembas say “icakukonka ulubilo bacinkonka ulubilo” (conflicts need to
be solved as quickly as possible).
It is also a lesson that we
should try by all means not to solve issues through the media. Rushing to MUVI
TV was just so immature and a “cry baby” move on the part of Mr. Sichilongo when
there were other administrative channels to be followed like seeking the help
from the district education office.
In
conclusion, it is clear that the key to withdraw the case from the court lay
with Sister Chakupalesa, and for this she needs to be commended for the
decision to forgive Mr. Sichilongo and move on with life as colleagues. This is not to downgrade the humility shown
by Mr. Sichilongo as well as other interested bodies mentioned in the
article. The precedence set by the
results of the reconciliation and arbitration is very good, commendable and exemplary.
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR:
Pumulo
Mungoma is a Zambian teacher, and has written a lot on many issues that relate
to Zambia’s education policy. He also volunteers with a number of educational
organisations and associations; among them is the Zambian Teachers Forum where
he works as Education Policy Analyst and Researcher! Phone contacts: +260954-623860. Email: epm1983@yahoo.com]
